Just checking in.

How time flies when there is peace. It's been quiet. The three of us lead pretty separate lives now, only bumping in to one another at night. Mostly tired. It's different. Not bad, just monotonous.
Xander had his revision surgery on Feb 13 and it went well. No complications and he was back to school the following Monday. The scars are much less vascular and I think they will fade nicely in time. 
He will be graduating this June, which seems unreal to me, and expressed a desire to go overseas for college. I think as a compromise he will be applying to VCU, they have a study abroad program we are going to look into. 
I just wanted to check in. 

A Brand New Year

Life is such a winding road. 

Our perspective changes in an instant. What was once the center of our universe can quickly be lost amid the daily thrumming of a life lived. And so it goes.

Xander started Grade 12 at Manchester High. I began my graduate work at VCU. Joe continued to work 100 hour weeks. Gender was becoming less and less of a focus. Xander's top surgery in August had turned him into a happy, engaged kid that I no longer had to fret about. His grades are consistent A's and B's and his plans for college are in the fore-front of his brain. I'm very happy. 

Our last trip to the plastic surgeon was just before the holidays. The doctor had informed us that the scars were looking "stretched" and that he could remove them in another surgery. Xander's scars are very vascular and pronounced, the nipples had become more oval in shape as well. The doctor assures us that he can fix both issues with a much better result. We will only be responsible for the hospital costs, the doctors services are covered under our original contract. I'll let you know how much that will set us back once they mail me the estimate.

Also new for this year, our endocrinologist did not opt in for our HMO and so we lost her. I'm sad and a little upset. We had been with her from the start, now I have to explain the whole shooting match to a new person. Grrrrrrr.  

I feel like my role in all of this ( medical manager I guess) should be coming to an end soon. When Xander turns 18 next August I'm hoping he will be able to start scheduling/maintaining his own medical appointments. Part of becoming your own person is learning how to manage your own healthcare. He will probably feel like I'm jumping ship but I wouldn't be doing him any favors by micro-managing this for him. 

Lastly, this has been rolling around my head for awhile now. Xander is spoiled. I guess that would be relative to what your idea of spoiled is. In my opinion, he has been spoiled. I tried, at every turn, to give this child every opportunity and any advantage I could. At times, I definitely made things very easy for him. Once he started acting out, I dropped everything and completely focused on him. And now......the realities of LIFE, of LIVING as a productive person are staring him in the face. He needs a job but doesn't want to work at .........well, pretty much anywhere. His Dad bought him a truck that he will have put in his name on his 18th birthday....IF he has a job. I am hopeful that he will realize that this is part of life and is a necessity. Fingers crossed.

I'm definitely not complaining. My Xander has come so far. A few years ago I would have doubted he would live to make it to 17. Once he embraced his true self, he just began growing and changing to be the man he is today. I'm very lucky that I was able to help him find his way.

Xander's Replay of the Day

Amy Winehouse ~ Rehab