Here's what we did. I brought along Xander's name change court document, drivers license and his old social security card. We found the closest SS office and got down there bright and early. TWO hours later we were seen by a very nice lady. They will change the name BUT NOT the gender. They will need a COURT ORDER for that as well. We went through with just the name change for now. Xander received his new card about 1 week later in the mail. I knew this could be an issue so I wasn't terribly surprised.
Also, as of today, we are still waiting for the hard copy of his license.
I can't remember if I mentioned that I also dropped a copy of the court order off at his school office. They are currently in the middle of a computer systems change-over, of course, so I doubt anything will happen until I re-visit them in a couple of weeks.
COURT AGAIN
Tomorrow I am planning on going back to the Chesterfield courthouse to find out what I need to start gender change. It could be that I will need a surgeons note or a therapists letter or maybe even a postcard from the Pope. Who the hell knows?! Sorry, my irritation is showing.
Bank
We had no problem at all opening Xander his own checking and savings at Wells Fargo. He only had to show his license, which has his new name on it, so it was a breeze.
Note: Wells Fargo is one of the sponsors of PrideFest in Richmond this year!!!! Love them!
And, finally, only 5 more days until top surgery. I cried in the car today. A lot. I don't know if it's a happy or nervous or bewildered crying.....maybe all at once. I'm not fearful of the surgery itself. Really, I'm not. I guess it could be another stage of the mourning we go through. That seems so selfish. And people offering up all kinds of fucking opinions. Really? I'm just more sensitive now to opinions. That's hysterical too because I am the Queen of Not Giving A Shit what anyone thinks. Uh huh. That becomes fairly evident once you meet me. Ha! Judging me is fine, judging my kid is never even close to okay. And it hurts, even though I KNOW that people are stupid and assholes and just whatever. Anyway, that's me venting. Consider me all whined out. hehe.
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists ~ Bottled In Cork
I think given everything you've given in terms of the love and acceptance and support. .. is only natural that you might have a release of the tremendous amount of emotion that comes with how far you and he have come. ...
ReplyDeleteMichele - Of course it is part of the mourning process. When we learn we are pregnant, we start placing expectations, plans, hopes, dreams on the child. We do this even before we know the sex of the child. When we learn what physical equipment the child has or does not have, we must let go of some of those expectations, dreams, plans, etc. We do this, often not realizing we are doing it because we are human and part of being human is to plan, dream, have expectations, etc. And God, whatever that is, sometimes throws a wrench into those expectations, dreams, ,,, You have been focused on doing every thing you can to help and support Xander. Take the time to consciously go through your own process. The birth and emergence of your son has lead to the death of your daughter. Process it. It is not selfish - and it is very necessary. I used to hear in the rooms that it is not the elephants that send us out; it is the mice that come after the elephants have been taken care of. Don't set yourself up to have some stupid little mousey take a bite out of those 1,095 days. Love you - MJ
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