Welcome to 2014!

   This story begins long ago but I will only provide my brief hind sites, those moments that should have tipped me off, to when Alex began this journey. Let me just say that as a child, I was a tomboy. I wore old, dirty clothes handed down from boys, played in the mud and loved to be rough. From the time she could walk, my daughter displayed the same inclinations. I thought nothing of it. Every Christmas she would get Barbies and playhouses and nail polish....it would never get touched. She preferred to play with her older brothers toys. She made few friends. Being that we were military, we moved around and I blamed that for her lack of lasting friendships. Fast-forward to middle school. All hell breaks loose. Bullying, grades drop dramatically and I start to see real disconnect in her. I get her a therapist to work on the bullying problems. The school system is shit and won't do anything so I pull her out and decide to homeschool for a year. Eye opening for me. I had had a sneaking suspicion that Sydney was gay from about 11 years old. By 13, I was certain. It was never an issue for me and I continued to support her the best I knew how. She didn't want anyone else to know, I respected that and didn't tell anyone including my husband. Her physical appearance began taking on a more masculine look. We had moved into a new area around Thanksgiving 2012, it had a larger and much more diverse school population. She insisted on coming out at school and although I wanted her to protect herself from more bullying, she was steadfast in her resolve. I always attempt to explain some of the things that might happen, just so there are no surprises. I'd love to say I am just completely supportive all the time BUT I'm a mother, and I know how mean and ruthless kids can be. She acquires a girlfriend and for a short time, things are okay. Over time I start seeing depression, self-harm, binge eating and very serious bouts of anxiety. I search for more qualified therapists. We are worried sick and aren't sure what to do. The self-harm escalates into a stay in the hospital. (Sydney will be Alex from here forward)He comes out to the rest of the family and gets all positive feedback. More doctors, more therapists. We start drugs....for the depression...for the anxiety...for the impulsiveness. We spend that summer joined at the hip, I can't let him out of my sight. He wants to die. The drugs don't help, the therapy doesn't help, I feel impotent. We padlock the sharps, the food and the meds. They want him back in the hospital ( it's a nightmare in there) and I refuse. I will not let this child destroy himself. I'll do ANYTHING. He hates his female body and finally expresses that he IS A MAN. He gives himself a new male name ( Alexander Dean Chapman ) and I don't take him seriously, I think its a phase. We start dialectical behavior therapy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy )( almost impossible to find, we were on the list for months)and he immediately has chemistry with his new therapist. It's been months since we have seen a self-harm. I think that the moment I completely accepted that THIS was who he was and started making the effort, the bad behaviors disappeared. So, here we are, still in DBT so he can work on those big emotions and how to cope when they come around. We have found a combo of meds that manage the depression and we are sticking with those for now. I search for local groups for support. And we're moving forward with more smiling, more laughing and A PLAN. Not just for transitioning but finally for a happy life. 
Transgender Info