June crept up on me.

Wow, my last post was mid-May and I have been meaning to sit down since then but well, it just doesn't happen sometimes.

In a nutshell, Alex is doing well. He has graduated from the DBT group program and now just sees his therapist every two weeks. We have since discontinued the Celexa and are starting step-down on the Abilify. By the end of June he should be free of all meds except for the Ethosuximide. I am very happy about this. I agree that there is a time when meds help tremendously but I feel these drugs are unneeded now.  Last week Alex was seen by the Neuro as well, he hadn't seen this doc for almost a year and a half. It was a bit of a surprise but he accepted Alex's transformation and suggested we wait until August to start decreasing the Ethosuximide. We are scheduled for a new EEG July 22. He wants to compare it to a previous EEG. I'm nervous about this one. He has been seizure free for about 5-6 years and I'm terrified that they will re-appear if we decrease the dosage. The doctor thinks its time to try so I'm relying on his expertise. Fingers crossed.

Testosterone shots have moved from bi-weekly to weekly. We had a follow-up with the Endo and she answered questions from both Alex and I. All of the "side effects" that Alex is experiencing are normal. They pulled some blood for levels, gave us a bag of syringes and sent us on our way. 

The anger and aggression we had early on seems to be more localized around shot days now. We did suffer through another cycle but it was fairly short ( 3 days ) so I am hopeful that in a few more months these will desist completely.

Summer is just about here and Alex is looking forward to getting a job, getting a drivers license and spending more time in bed in the morning! We are leaving for the Philly Transgender Conference on the 13th and I am really excited. This will be our first immersion event and I will be absorbing as much info as is humanly possible! 

Skrillex-Recess

Graduation, grandparents and some new, odd symptoms.

Hello Trans* followers. Here is our family related news of the last 10 days.

My Mom flew in on the 7th to attend my graduation ( Finally completed my BSc!) and although she is aware of Alex's journey, she has yet to really come to terms with it. Transitioning is confusing for some people. They seem to get stuck on the "why?" and can't completely absorb that he was born in the wrong body. It's not good or bad, acceptance can vary, and as long as there is support.... it's all good. My Dad arrived on Saturday. He usually drives up but this time he took the train. I only told him about Alex's transitioning in April so it's newer for him. He definitely doesn't understand but has no issue with the process. He is more concerned that Alex won't be able to function in the world ( go to college, get a job, etc) and that people will KNOW he's a woman. For him it's about fooling other people, he doesn't think Alex will pass as a man. It's a conversation that I'm sure we will have many more times. Ha!

Dad with Alex

Alex is still having anger issues and the appetite is still there as well. He sleeps whenever he isn't vertical. Acne explosion, both facial and body. Face and body washes don't help much. A new development has been some light-headedness and nausea during the day. He has also reported weird feelings in some joints/hands. Symptoms of testosterone use, his body is changing. I'm worried about the head issues because there IS brain GROWTH associated with FtM HRT. BRAIN GROWTH. Could this be what's causing the headaches and light-headedness? Unknown at this point. I will monitor its progression and just make sure he is hydrated at all times. We see Dr. Penn on the 26th so, unless there are dire symptom increases, we will wait till then to be seen. 

Alex and Taylor are still together. Annual Alternate Prom is tomorrow up in Richmond, it is thrown by ROSMY and this will be Alex's first year attending. We got him a dress-up outfit that he's happy with and I will go tomorrow to pick up his corsage for Taylor. I'll definitely take some pictures to post!

Group therapy is coming to an end, we graduate out of it next Tuesday (yay!). He will continue seeing his weekly therapist indefinitely. 

Alex with Nanny and Grampy. May 11, 2014

Alex's Re-Play of the day

Beyonce ~ Partition

Another two weeks flies by.

Wow, it's been 2 weeks already. It hasn't flown by but I definitely lost track. 

Alex has had some issues with anger and moodiness but we are working through them as best we can. His appetite is still huge and he always heads straight for the calorie dense, nutrient lacking foods. I fear for his health but all I can do is nudge him in the right direction. He is gaining weight and at this rate, he will be obese by the end of the summer. I guess it's a lot like addiction, you have to hit your bottom and be motivated to change. No one can MAKE you do it. It just hurts me to see the direction he's headed. I've been there, I know what a miserable place it is.

The last 2 week interval shot is on the 12th. After that it will be weekly. We haven't seen a huge difference yet i.e.: facial hair, etc. but once the dosage is doubled, I expect things to speed up.

In other news, ROSMY made a special service announcement awhile ago. They asked kids from the program to speak on it. Alex ( Xander ) is in it starting at 00:12.

Alex's re-play of the day

Shakira ~ Empire

Hulk Angry....Hulk Smash!

Yes. We have anger. We have increased irritability. I guess this means the testosterone is working, right?! Fan-tas-tic. The down side would be....more of "the mood swinging". So not nice. And because we have just begun the process, he is coming up on another CYCLE. Now these were horrific without added hormones, I am so looking forward to the head explosions that will occur with the double your pleasure hormone load. ( that was sarcasm, in case you missed it) And what great timing too! My mom and dad will be here in two weeks and neither one has had the pleasure of the new and improved Alex yet. I hate to forecast but I can see feelings getting hurt and misunderstandings galore. I'll be sure to keep a fire extinguisher on hand.

Thank goodness Spring Break is over! I am no cruise director and I tend to get resentful and just plain pissed off when I am DRIVING for 75% of the damn day. I can't wait till this kid gets a license and finally understands that the car doesn't run on magic. Gas costs money and money needs to be earned. I imagine his travels will be stymied once he has to buy his own magic. Hehe.

Nothing new or exciting this week. His next Shot will be the 28th. Only 3 more group therapy sessions ( which we are both happy about, for different reasons) and then he will continue to see his regular therapist probably bi-weekly. 

We bleached him blonde. Also, he decided he didn't want the snakebites anymore so he took them out.

Alex's re-play of the day

DJ Snake& Lil Jon ~ Turn Down for What!

You are hairy, like animal.

Alex: "Mom, is it wrong that I can't wait to get hair on my back??"

Me: "Yes, sweetie. That is oh so very wrong. LOL."

Today was Shot #2 of testosterone. Alex once again gave it to himself, I just supervised to make sure he followed the directions. Since Shot#1 we haven't seen much of a change. Sure, he's moody....but welcome to 16....not really able to tell if it has increased because of the shot or if it's just HIM. Increase in appetite? Sure, but let's just say...he ate like a full grown man prior to the treatment, so again...no way to tell. I've been attempting to get him moving as much as I can, whether it is a walk in the park or doing yard work , he isn't happy about it but knows why I'm pushing. 

He and Taylor are still together and it's been about a month now. She comes over at least once a week, it would be more but they live about an hour away.

Alex and I also Ran/Walked The VA War Memorial 5K on Saturday.

 So this is the first day of Spring Break. Wooohooo. Too bad we're broke. Story of my life people.

Alex's Re-Play of the Day.

Fiona Apple~ Sleep To Dream

Saturday. Yep, just Saturday.

Plastic surgery

Double mastectomy. It's part of the whole "transitioning" process for Alex. The conservative side of me is adamant about pursuing this avenue until he turns at least 18. The part of me that understands the extreme distress involved with having breasts wants to move forward. Alex's body dysphoria can be crippling and is a real source of depression and self-loathing. 
We are friendly with another FtM individual in the area who recently graduated from Alex's high school. He had the procedure at 17, before starting HRT. He is the one who gave me the doctors name  I shared in the above link. There is also a family in our Trans support group who have scheduled their 16 year old FtM to have the surgery this January. It's a hard decision. I have told Alex that we will consider pursuing this further AFTER the Trans Conference in June. There will be lots of information regarding the surgery available and hopefully some others that can assure me one way or another. 

Double mastectomy

I'm not sure that "bottom" surgery is something I need to worry about just yet. Many FtM individuals opt to keep their assigned genitalia. Not only because the surgeries available are crude and grossly expensive but because of the possible complications. Science has not really advanced enough to give a good result in this area. Loss of sensation was the biggest issue I came across in all of my research. And we don't want that, now do we!?

Well, there hasn't been much change since Alex received his first shot. He's still mood swingy and ALWAYS hungry but that's pretty much the norm here. I'm trying my best to keep him active so that he doesn't end up packing on the pounds. That will be very hard on his organs and mentally his self-esteem takes a nose-dive. It's difficult, cause he's still a kid and wants those nasty kid foods. I do my best to be reasonable but I end up feeling like the food police. The exercise Nazi. Nag, nag, nag. At some point he will have to take responsibility for his health, I won't be around. Scary.

Anyway, tomorrow we have our Trans support group picnic at the park. I look forward to hanging with them. Alex will get to hang out with peers and Joe will get some much needed exposure to other men dealing with similar issues. It's a win. I'll take pictures. 

And so we begin.

Notes from Mom:

The first injection of testosterone went well. Alex was nervous but insisted on doing the first shot himself.  This is good because, considering he will be doing this the rest of his life, he needs to get used to it. The nurse was great and went through all the steps with saline first, letting him get used to handling the needles. We have to use a larger needle to draw up the testosterone because it is in a oil suspension, then we change the to a smaller gauge to inject. Anxiety was high at first but as you can tell in the video posted to Facebook, he was truly relieved after. ( Me too!) The next injection will be in two weeks and we will do it at home from now on. We won't follow up with the doc again until the end of May. 

March 31, 2014

Alex's Re-Play of the Day

Imagine Dragons ~ On Top of The World