Never underestimate the simple act of a hug. Sometimes just the quiet, intimate press of one body against another can bring even the worst anxiety to a screeching halt. It's a reminder that communally we are stronger, lending our empathy to the weak and drawing comfort in their relief. In my house, we are huggers and snugglers, it is not unusual to find us in a pretzel formation on the couch or stacked on top of each other on the carpet. Comfort in touch, we need it. Another anxiety buster is mindful breathing. It can help to distract/turn down the volume in your head. Alex and I both suffer from 'racing brain' and can generate terrible scenarios full of death and dismemberment if given a few minutes to idly think. I have been suggesting this technique over the past few days. I physically took his hands and had him close his eyes and we breathed together. Paying attention to how it 'feels' to breath in and imagining the anxiety 'molecules' being expelled on the exhale. After about 5 minutes of this, anxiety went from a 8 to a 2. I think he was surprised that it ACTUALLY WORKED. Hey! I'm not full of shit after all ! Ha!
The word transgender, I have found in my limited experience so far, has many negative connotations. The general public regards the word to be synonymous with things like 'pervert', 'pedophile', 'freak' and 'criminal'. I don't know what it is but especially for my age bracket. It's sad and hysterical at the same time. This is the mental picture most people have when told someone is transgender.
RuPaul,Tootsie, Klinger, Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari.
RuPaul is a drag queen, not transgender at all. He identifies as a gay man. Jaime Farr is a straight, married man in real life. He dressed up in women's clothing during the war ( on the tv show MASH) hoping that they would send him home for being a cross dresser. Dustin Hoffman is a straight, married man as well. His character dressed as a woman in the movie Tootsie because he couldn't get a job as a man. Finally, Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari, have never identified as anything but straight men. In the tv series Bosom Buddies, they dressed as women to be able to live in a cheap hotel for only women. All five men, as far as I know, are good people with fairly normal lives. How we dress should never be the indicator for what gender we identify as, looks can surely be deceiving.
Gender is the binary we as a society use to categorize someone as either MALE or FEMALE. It's supposed to match your genitals, right? Supposed to.....that is the key. Things like prenatal hormone levels can definitely throw a monkey wrench into that scenario. In the simplest terms, the wiring and the plumbing develop at different stages of development. In our case, the plumbing was girl but the testosterone levels changed the wiring. It isn't JUST the hormones either. It's genes and environment as well. The perfect storm of 'just enough' of this and a 'smidgen' of that. You have to love the human body. I'll get more in depth with this topic in the future.
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