Let's Make A Deal!

The decision for top surgery ( better known as Double Mastectomy) was and IS a hard one. I could list the various reasons that we are choosing to move forward with this but ultimately, everyone will have an opinion based on their own MORAL (?) compass. This child was not an accident, this child was a WANTED child. I carried and gave birth to another human, beautiful and perfect in every way. Just like any mother, I would do anything to help this child be a successful, fulfilled, happy person. 
That being said, he has been so body dysmorphic that it is getting hard for him to focus on anything else.  His therapist and I have discussed it at length and we both agree that his mental health will improve greatly the sooner we can arrange to have this done. In our house, it comes up at least a few times a day. At first I thought it might be better to wait until the end of the year, around X-mas, when he had a few weeks off. That way he would have a couple of weeks to recover before going back to school. After the appointment today, Joe and I feel it may actually be better to get it done this summer so that he can have more time to recover and also start senior year in a better frame of mind. 

At the end of the consult, we received this little tidbit. $6, 817.00 and our insurance will not be covering one bit of it. Luckily, this doctor does 1 year of follow-up appointments and they are included. As for the doctor, he has done many of these types of surgeries and has a wonderful bedside manner. We all immediately liked him and didn't feel rushed or talked-down to. 

So, here's our plan. Alex will raise the initial appointment scheduling fee ($500.00) and when he has it, we will schedule the surgery. We figure he can do it in about 4 weeks working his job at Taco Bell. It will have more meaning if he contributes, at least we think so. (him, not so much, lol.)

As his Mom, I am terrified. For all sorts of reasons. None of which I think I'll post at this moment. 

Making A Run For The Border!

The simple fact is, it seems our lives revolve around GENDER issues. It isn't surprising that we all "burn-out" occasionally and just want to LIVE, tooling through life just being people. That's a very difficult proposition when you have a transgender child. Their world is so focused on getting mind and body to match that it seeps into everything. Usually it's in the form of anger or depression or both at once. Maybe I'm delusional in thinking that one day, he can just be Alex. I'm hopeful.

Alex finally got a job. Taco Bell. I know, but hey its a job. After actively searching for almost a year, we had celebratory screams in the car. It's the little things. So, he's been there for a few weeks and now we are faced with the dilemma of "who, if anyone, do we tell?" He wants to tell, he's not ashamed of being who he is. BUT. In Virginia he can be fired for being transgender. Not because he's doing a bad job or because he shows up late but because he is transgender. I can't advise him NOT to tell because my stance has always been, Be proud of who you are and never hide. Never hide.....but maybe don't reveal? I mean, he needs a job. I'm torn. Pretty soon his name will be officially changed through the courts. He will be forced to reveal this to his workplace for IRS reasons. I'm fairly sure this will piss them off, more paperwork and whatnot. Will they ask why? Will they make it easy, hard, not care?? I guess we'll see.

Day 89 since the start of Testosterone shots. The increase of aggression/irritation/moodiness has kind of leveled off. I mean we still see the regular " I'm 16" moodiness and general crankiness of most kids this age. Appetite is still there but he is doing better with moderation. Weight has leveled off just under 150 lbs., which is fine...I just don't want to see him get any bigger. Oh, on a side note, Alex has started getting very anxious about giving himself the shot every Monday morning. He is supposed to rotate spots so that he doesn't build up "hard" spots under the skin. He gravitates to right, front belly....maybe because it is easy, I dont know. I'm encouraging him to use other spots, he gets mad when I do. The last two in different spots have hurt and bled. This is a lifelong endeavor, I'm afraid he just needs to get used to it. 

Alex continues to go to Rosmy and is still dating Taylor. Not having a drivers license is really becoming a problem for us both. Luckily, he only has about 3 more weeks without one. Then we will have to figure out the car situation so that he can utilize some of his newfound freedom without leaving me stranded. Ha!

Monday the 30th we are going in to see the plastic surgeon for a top surgery consult. I want to know what kind of surgery he will have to have for best result, recovery time, and most of all, cost. Others have said they had around 3-4 weeks for recovery so I am thinking that possibly over Christmas break would be a good time. It is still to be determined.

Alex's Re-Play of the Day

He is We ~ I Wouldn't Mind.

Post-Convention Head Rush

Hello all! Here is a brief overview of our trip to the Transgender Conference in Philly this past weekend.

The conference started on Thursday and unfortunately we couldn't be there because of Joe's work commitments.

Friday: We woke at 2:45 am and were on the road by 3:15 am. I know, crazy right?! BUT, I wanted to make it to Philly for the first round of classes at 8:45am. We pulled into the city around 9am and parked in the first parking garage we found. The convention center was busy but a lot of the vendor tables weren't set up yet. Multiple classes ran at the same time so I flitted around a lot. There were some that seemed interesting on paper but didn't really pertain to us once we sat in. By lunchtime we were cranky and fighting amongst ourselves. It ended badly, I think it was just too much stimulation for one day. We ate dinner at a sports bar and hit the hotel ( which was FABULOUS). I think we were all asleep before we actually laid down.

Saturday: Ate breakfast at the hotel and walked over to the conference. We all had our agendas for the day. Alex was looking forward to the Gender Reassignment Surgery talks. It was a much better day and we learned a lot. Honestly, I can't go into detail about what I learned or how it pertains to us at the moment. Privacy issues and whatnot. Needless to say, we had a great day and finished off the conference around 8 pm. 

Sunday: Our free day. We rode the double decker bus around the city, ate some wonderful sushi, dropped Alex off at the hotel early and then had a Mom and Dad sorta-date until 9pm. It was fun and nice and the city was fun.

Monday: Alex gave himself his weekly T shot at the hotel. He is picking the same spot ( after being told repeatedly NOT to do that) and that spot is growing a fairly heavy patch of dark hairs. HA! We packed up and left for home after breakfast. We arrived home early afternoon yesterday. 

I'm very glad we went. I'm not sure if we will go again next year. I met a great lady with PFlag who got me interested in possibly going to Washington in a few weeks to Lobby for Transgender rights. I'm hoping some others in my area will be going as well.

I didn't take many pictures at the actually conference, they had signs posted " No photography", it's a privacy thing.  

Anyway, that's about it for now. Oh, I called and made a consult appointment for top surgery with a local surgeon. We will be gathering information, there is no rush just yet on the actual surgery. 

Alex's Re-Play of the Day

Pretty Reckless ~ Heaven Knows

June crept up on me.

Wow, my last post was mid-May and I have been meaning to sit down since then but well, it just doesn't happen sometimes.

In a nutshell, Alex is doing well. He has graduated from the DBT group program and now just sees his therapist every two weeks. We have since discontinued the Celexa and are starting step-down on the Abilify. By the end of June he should be free of all meds except for the Ethosuximide. I am very happy about this. I agree that there is a time when meds help tremendously but I feel these drugs are unneeded now.  Last week Alex was seen by the Neuro as well, he hadn't seen this doc for almost a year and a half. It was a bit of a surprise but he accepted Alex's transformation and suggested we wait until August to start decreasing the Ethosuximide. We are scheduled for a new EEG July 22. He wants to compare it to a previous EEG. I'm nervous about this one. He has been seizure free for about 5-6 years and I'm terrified that they will re-appear if we decrease the dosage. The doctor thinks its time to try so I'm relying on his expertise. Fingers crossed.

Testosterone shots have moved from bi-weekly to weekly. We had a follow-up with the Endo and she answered questions from both Alex and I. All of the "side effects" that Alex is experiencing are normal. They pulled some blood for levels, gave us a bag of syringes and sent us on our way. 

The anger and aggression we had early on seems to be more localized around shot days now. We did suffer through another cycle but it was fairly short ( 3 days ) so I am hopeful that in a few more months these will desist completely.

Summer is just about here and Alex is looking forward to getting a job, getting a drivers license and spending more time in bed in the morning! We are leaving for the Philly Transgender Conference on the 13th and I am really excited. This will be our first immersion event and I will be absorbing as much info as is humanly possible! 

Skrillex-Recess