Hi.
It's been a very long time and after all we have been through, I thought a wrap-up might be in order.
Alex and his partner moved in together last X-Mas and yesterday I helped them move into a new, better apartment.
They got a dog, Charlie.
They travelled to London.
Alex got a job working with dogs and took a semester off.
We had been fighting Tricare for a hysterectomy based on pain for way too long. I finally had to change my tact and made a friend in the Tricare liaison office. She was pivotal in getting us into the local system. It still took almost a year to get a surgical appointment, I ended up making weekly calls to Portsmouth just to keep us on their radar. I am the proverbial "squeaky wheel" and it has always paid off.
Last month Alex finally got his full hysterectomy. He will no longer need to have "female" services and his pain is completely resolved.
Testosterone is now our new issue. He has no ovaries to compete with any longer. I think his T dosage is far too high now. He will get levels tested this month to see if his dosage can be lowered.
Medically, we are "done" (for now). His body dysmorphia is all but gone and he no longer has to endure monthly pain. Unless he decides to pursue bottom surgery, but that's a whole other ball of wax.
This ends a journey for me. The depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicide attempts, binge eating, body dysmorphia, therapists, doctors, DBT and peer groups that I had to research and learn about in the past 5 years have changed me forever. It sometimes feels like it wasn't real, that the pain and trauma was happening to another family instead of my own. I'm completely in love with the person my son has become, how this transformation has made him compassionate, kind and empathetic.
So, I'll end it here for now. Life moves on and I hope if you're going through some of what we went through, these words can help. Everything changes except my love for this child.
