Name Change in Chesterfield, Virginia

There are so many aspects of our lives that are affected by a name change. We don't think about it much; when we sign up for things, apply for positions, even verbally telling people.....it can become confusing when we switch to a new name. Keep that in mind and be patient with people. You may have been using your new name daily, perhaps among your family or friends but your banker, your hair dresser or even the peers at your school have not. This is new to them.

Name Change

So, we started by printing out the Name Change ( Minors) form found here. Name Change.
If you are an adult, there is an adult form on this page as well. Be aware that the Minors form requires BOTH parents to sign and those signatures MUST be notarized.

Next, we took our application to the Chesterfield County Courthouse, which is located here. COURTHOUSE. Note: Go to the Circuit Courts office, which is to the left when you walk in. You will give your application to the clerk, pay $39.00 and she will give you a receipt with a Judges name and a case number. If the court has any issue with your name change ( rare) then they will call you. Otherwise, they will send the name change in the mail within ( this is what they told me) 2 WORKING weeks. Don't count weekends or holidays or the day you drop it off. Personal experience: We waited 2 working weeks and when nothing showed up I used the case number to see what was going on on their website. It showed that the change had gone through 4 days after we dropped it off. The paperwork was never sent. Be vigilant. We drove over and picked up a copy from the same office that day.

DMV

Xander had just received his temporary paper license, which he was supposed to hold onto for 180 days. This would mean we could only change the name on his Learners permit. We took our newly acquired Court Papers to DMV. The lady at the counter was superb ( we got LUCKY!) and when we explained why Xander was doing the name change, she took his picture and cut him a new drivers license! The hard copy will come in the mail in a week. Make sure you change the gender marker to the one you prefer ( M or F). This will be important when making changes at other places.

My next venture will be social security. I'll let you know how that goes.

Pre-Op Appointment and Junk

There are so many videos circulating on Facebook these days when it comes to gender. I was going to post a few of my favorites but, honestly, they are showing up so often that people are getting tired of the repetition. I will say that Debi Jackson's video of her child's journey is awesome and worth the watch. Also the documentary, Transgeneration, about transgender college kids is a great look at the special considerations that our kids will be faced with in these situations away from home. 

This morning we went in for our Pre-Op at Zinsser Plastic Surgery. It was all pretty standard "what to expect after" stuff. Luckily I have been through a buttload of surgeries so I'm a champ at wound care. Xander is a little freaked out about the drains. It's normal. It didn't help that the nurse showed him the ENTIRE length of tubing that would be inside of his body. Scary. It looks really fucking long. I'm laughing only because I've been there and done that. The mental weirdness ( I always pictured the tube wrapping around my friggin spleen or piercing a major artery and it all comes flying out when they yank that damn thing out. Yeah, I have a very active imagination, I know) is much more debilitating than the actual pain of them pulling it out. He only has to have the drains in for the weekend. That's going to be a REALLY long weekend.

Other than that, I have to pick up supplies for the dressings and his after surgery meds. Done. Nothing else to do but wait till August 8th now!

We leave for the beach this weekend and will celebrate Xander's 17th birthday in Va. Beach. We return the week of the surgery, by which time the nerves will really start showing. I probably won't post again until after. 

Xander's Re-Play of the Day

Spoon ~ Do You?

Summer is for squares.

      Why does it not feel like summer at all? The school year ended and suddenly, it's mid-July. Our days have been filled with planning and scheduling and going to work. I guess we haven't really had much time for anything but anxiety and mindless daily living. I realized this right after I made the final appointment for Alex's FtM Top surgery. August 8th. 
The pre-op appointment is July 22nd, not leaving me a whole lot of time to get in a much-needed vacation of any kind. For my own mental health, I knew I was going to need some beach time before the surgery/recovery period. I called Joe at work and told him to take some days off, we're going to need to go to the beach from July 26th to Aug 3rd. He was reluctant but he scheduled it because he knows me, if I say I NEED the time off then it must really be important. 

I stare at my calendar and it's filled with events and plans that were made in the spring. The surgery is eclipsing everything, either time-wise or financially. I was unable to make it up to DC for the Transgender Lobby, primarily because of the sudden lack of funds. I wanted to be there and made a last ditch effort to scrape up the money but it just wasn't meant to be. Next year I will have a better plan in place.

Alex is doing well. He managed to get the $500 together pretty quickly and then told his boss he was going to have surgery ( a vague statement until the boss asked "what kind of surgery?" to which Alex pointed at his chest. He said she just smiled and said "that is very exciting." Whew. Sometimes people surprise you.) so he would have to quit. The manager told him he could take some time off, he didn't necessarily have to quit. If he wants to go back when he has healed then he will have a place. Personally, I don't think he will have the time. He failed a couple of core classes last year and his course-load will be pretty heavy this coming year. He can not afford to fail anything his senior year in order to graduate. This will not leave much time for working. Or a social life. Ha!

Alex got his drivers license last week and has since been unstoppable. He has made several trips to Richmond on his own to visit Taylor. Even with the GPS he has managed to get lost a few times. I worry but I'm also glad he is venturing out on his own. I honestly never thought this day would come.

Alex, Xander, Al ~ June 2014

Alex's Re-Play of the Day.

MAGIC! ~ Rude